Mari maa

 Unit--1

main shaayad hee kisee pita ke baare mein jaanata tha, aur mujhe yaad nahin hai ki vah hamaare saath rahe hon. vah bhee ek vaadeviliyan, kaalee aankhon vaala shaant, chintit vyakti tha. maan ne kaha ki vah nepoliyan jaisa dikhata hai. unakee halkee madhyam aavaaz thee aur unhen ek bahut achchha kalaakaar maana jaata tha. un dinon bhee vah prati saptaah chaalees paund kee achchhee-khaasee rakam kama lete the. samasya yah thee ki vah bahut adhik sharaab peeta tha, jise maan ne unake alagaav ka kaaran bataaya.

un dinon vaadeviliyans ke lie sharaab na peena mushkil tha, kyonki sabhee thietaron mein sharaab bechee jaatee thee, aur ek kalaakaar ke abhinay ke baad, usase thietar baar mein jaane aur graahakon ke saath sharaab peene kee ummeed kee jaatee thee. kuchh thietaron ne boks ophis kee tulana mein baar se adhik laabh kamaaya, aur kaee sitaaron ko na keval unakee pratibha ke lie balki isalie bhee bada vetan diya gaya kyonki unhonne apana adhikaansh paisa thietar baar mein kharch kiya tha. is prakaar kaee kalaakaar sharaab ke kaaran barbaad ho gae- mere pita unamen se ek the. saintees varsh kee aayu mein atyadhik sharaab ke kaaran unakee mrtyu ho gaee. maan usake baare mein kahaaniyaan haasy aur duhkh ke saath sunaatee theen. sharaab peete samay usaka svabhaav hinsak tha, aur usake ek nakhare ke dauraan, vah kuchh doston ke saath braitan bhaag gaee, aur usake unmatt teleegraam ke javaab mein: tum kya kar rahe ho? turant javaab do! usane javaab diya: genden, paartiyaan aur pikanik, priye!

***

mere pita ke lie usake man mein kis star kee bhaavana thee, yah main kabhee nahin jaan saka, lekin jab bhee vah unake baare mein baat karatee thee to bina kisee kadavaahat ke hotee thee, jisase mujhe sandeh hota hai ki vah itanee adhik vastunishth thee ki vah gaharaee se pyaar nahin kar sakatee thee. kabhee-kabhee vah usake baare mein sahaanubhootipoorvak varnan karatee, aur kabhee-kabhee usake nashe aur hinsa ke baare mein baat karatee. baad ke varshon mein, jab bhee vah mujhase naaraaj hoteen to dukhee hokar kahateen: tum bhee apane pita kee tarah gatar mein sama jaoge.

***

sharaab ke alaava aur kya tathy shaamil the mujhe nahin pata, lekin mere janm ke ek saal baad mere maata-pita alag ho gae. maan ne gujaara bhatta nahin maanga. apane aap mein ek staar hone ke naate, prati saptaah pachchees paund kamaakar, vah apana aur apane bachchon ka bharan-poshan karane mein saksham thee. keval jab durbhaagy us par pada, tab usane raahat kee talaash kee; anyatha, vah kabhee bhee kaanoonee kadam nahin uthaatee.

use apanee aavaaz se pareshaanee ho rahee thee. yah kabhee bhee teevr nahin tha aur thodee see thand se svarayantrashoth ho jaata tha, jo haphton tak rahata tha; lekin vah kaam karate rahane ke lie baadhy thee, jisase usakee aavaaz lagaataar kharaab hotee gaee. vah is par bharosa nahin kar sakatee thee. gaayan ke beech mein, yah toot jaata tha ya achaanak phusaphusaahat mein gaayab ho jaata tha aur shrota hansane lagate the aur hooting karane lagate the. isakee chinta ne usake svaasthy ko kharaab kar diya aur use ghabaraahat mein daal diya. parinaamasvaroop, usakee naatakeey vyastataen tab tak kam ho gaeen jab tak ki ve vyaavahaarik roop se shoony nahin ho gaeen.

Unit--2 

yah unakee gaayan sthiti ke kaaran hee tha ki main paanch saal kee umr mein manch par pahalee baar upasthit hua. maan aamataur par mujhe kirae ke kamare mein akela chhodane ke bajaay raat mein thietar mein le aatee theen. vah us samay eldarashot mein kainteen khel rahee thee, jo ek ganda, matalabee thietar tha, jahaan jyaadaatar sainik aate the. ve bahut upadravee the aur upahaas karane aur upahaas karane ke lie koee bahaana nahin chaahate the. kalaakaaron ke lie, eldarashot aatank ka saptaah tha.

mujhe yaad hai jab maan kee aavaaz toot kar phusaphusaahat mein badal gaee thee to main saham kar khada ho gaya tha. darshak hansane lage, phaalseto gaane lage aur taaliyaan bajaane lage. yah sab aspasht tha aur mujhe bilkul samajh nahin aaya ki kya ho raha tha. lekin, shor itana badh gaya ki maan ko manch se utarana pada. jab vah ving mein aaee, to vah bahut pareshaan ho gaee aur usane manch prabandhak se bahas kee, jisane mujhe maan ke doston ke saamane pradarshan karate hue dekhakar, mujhe usakee jagah par jaane dene ke baare mein kuchh kaha.

aur mujhe yaad hai ki us uthal-puthal mein vah mera haath pakad kar mera netrtv kar rahe the aur, darshakon ko kuchh samajhaane vaale shabdon ke baad, mujhe manch par akela chhod gae. aur futalait kee chakaachaundh aur dhuen mein doobe cheharon ke saamane, mainne orkestra ke saath gaana shuroo kiya, jo tab tak bajata raha jab tak ki use meree chaabee nahin mil gaee. yah jaik jons naamak ek prasiddh geet tha.

aadhe raaste mein, manch par paison kee baarish hone lagee. main turant ruk gaya aur ghoshana kee ki main pahale paise uthaoonga aur baad mein gaoonga. isase kaaphee hansee aaee. manch prabandhak roomaal lekar aaya aur use ikattha karane mein meree madad kee. mujhe laga ki vah ise apane paas rakhega. yah vichaar darshakon tak pahunchaaya gaya aur unakee hansee badh gaee, khaasakar jab vah ise lekar chala gaya aur main utsukata se usake peechhe chal raha tha. jab tak unhonne ise maan ko nahin saumpa tab tak main vaapas nahin aaya aur gaana jaaree rakha. main bilkul ghar par tha. mainne darshakon se baat kee, nrty kiya, aur kaee nakalen keen, jisamen madar dvaara apana aayarish maarch geet gaana bhee shaamil tha, jo is prakaar tha:

rile, rile, yahee vah ladaka hai jo tumhen dhokha dega,

rile, rile, mere lie yahee ladaka hai.

 chhotee-badee sabhee senaon mein koee bhee itana sudaul aur saaph-suthara nahin hai

mahaan saarjent rile ke roop mein

 veer atthaasee ka.

aur koras ko doharaate samay, pooree maasoomiyat se mainne maan kee karkash aavaaj kee nakal kee aur darshakon par isake prabhaav ko dekhakar aashcharyachakit rah gaya. hansee aur jayakaar huee, phir aur adhik paise phenke gae; aur jab maan mujhe le jaane ke lie manch par aaeen, to unakee upasthiti se jabaradast taaliyaan bajeen. us raat manch par meree pahalee upasthiti thee aur maan kee aakhiree.

jab niyati maanav niyati ka sauda karatee hai, to ve na to daya par dhyaan dete hain aur na hee nyaay par. is prakaar unhonne maan ke saath vyavahaar kiya. usane kabhee apanee aavaaz vaapas nahin paee. jaise-jaise sharad rtu sheet rtu mein parivartit hotee gaee, vaise-vaise hamaaree paristhitiyaan bad se badatar hotee gaeen. haalaanki maan saavadhaan thee aur usane thode se paise bachae the, lekin vah jald hee gaayab ho gae, saath hee usake aabhooshan aur any chhotee-chhotee cheezen bhee gaayab ho gaeen, jinhen usane jeene ke lie giravee rakh diya tha, is ummeed mein ki usakee aavaaz vaapas aa jaegee.

Unit-3 

is beech teen aaraamadaayak kamaron se ham pahale do kamaron mein chale gaye, phir ek kamare mein, hamaara saamaan kam hota gaya aur jin padoson mein ham gaye, ve uttarottar neeras hote gaye.

mujhe lagata hai ki usane is ummeed mein dharm kee or rukh kiya, ki isase usakee aavaaz vaapas aa jaegee. vah niyamit roop se vestaminstar brij rod mein kraist charch mein jaatee thee, aur har ravivaar ko mujhe baakh ke organ sangeet ke lie baithaaya jaata tha aur revarend eph. unake bhaashan aakarshak rahe honge, kyonki kabhee-kabhee main maan ko chupachaap aansoo ponchhate hue dekhata tha, jisase mujhe thodee sharmindagee hotee thee.

kya mujhe garmee ke ek din mein pavitr bhoj yaad hai, aur svaadisht angoor ke ras se bhara thanda chaandee ka kap, jo mandalee ke paas se gujara tha - aur jab mainne ise bahut adhik pee liya tha to maan ka komal sanyamit haath yaad tha. aur jab revarend ne baibil band kar dee to mujhe kitanee raahat milee, kyonki isaka matalab tha ki upadesh jald hee samaapt ho jaega aur ve praarthana aur antim bhajan shuroo karenge.

choonki maan charch mein shaamil ho gaee thee, usane apane naatak mitron ko kam hee dekha tha. vah duniya lupt ho gaee thee, keval ek smrti banakar rah gaee thee. aisa lag raha tha ki ham hamesha kharaab haalaat mein rahe hain. ek saal ka antaraal jeevan bhar ka kasht bhara lag raha tha. ab ham udaas dhundhalake mein maujood the; naukariyaan milana kathin tha aur manch ke alaava har cheez mein prashikshit na hone ke kaaran maan aur bhee vikalaang ho gaeen. vah chhotee, sundar aur sanvedanasheel thee, viktoriyan yug mein bhayaanak baadhaon ke khilaaph lad rahee thee, jisamen dhan aur gareebee charam par thee, aur gareeb varg kee mahilaon ke paas maamoolee kaam karane ya paseene se tarabatar hone ke alaava koee vikalp nahin tha, kabhee-kabhee use kaam mil jaata tha. narsing kee, lekin aisa rojagaar durlabh aur chhotee avadhi ka tha. phir bhee, vah saadhan sampann thee: apanee khud kee naaty poshaaken banaane ke kaaran, vah apanee suee mein nipun thee aur charch ke sadasyon ke lie poshaak nirmaan se kuchh shiling kamaane mein saksham thee. lekin yah hamaara samarthan karane ke lie mushkil se hee paryaapt tha.

                              Ending.